Hating my own writing
Yesterday I posted a screenshot essay with a few sentences that I’ve come to hate. Poor flow, bad word choice, a way-too-long sentence with unnecessary parentheses. It wasn’t all bad, but there are definitely things I’m embarrassed about now.
Normally I would have deleted, edited, and re-posted. But my post had already been retweeted so what was I to do? I’ve long had a problem where I delete tweets over even the slightest bit of embarrassment. If I’m putting something into the world, it had better be perfectly polished. A useful impulse at times, but mostly it just makes me seem stiff.
Writing online is hard work but not for the reasons I expected. Mainly it’s been an exercise in learning to sit with imperfection. I may never produce a single great essay, but at least I’m developing the confidence, inch by inch, to stick with my own words once they’re out there.